


In Our Bones

by sixnunder



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Fluff, idk what is this soz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10138361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixnunder/pseuds/sixnunder
Summary: Six times my heart was broken. Six Against The Current's songs.





	1. Forget Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! Before you start reading I must apologize for any mistakes you might find, this is my first work in a long time and english isn't my first language so yeah lol enjoy

_This was the first guy I loved._

I still remember his smile, I saw it from the grades while he was performing.

He was the best dancer of the campus, the academy’s little treasure. With a slim figure and full of grace. Some of my classmates even said he looked feminine. I thought he was the most pure form of art. He could tell stories with a single movement of his hand. He could be the worst villain or the prettiest flower. He could steal hearts with his smile. And he stole mine.

“Sorry, I’m not interested” Those were the only words I heard from him when asking him out. He was so kind but rejection felt so bad.

I laid in bed for two weeks, without leaving the room except for my classes. My roommate begged for me to get out, to eat something with her. Basically, to do anything outside the room. But I didn’t listen to her. I just kept listening to sad love songs, occasionally changing the songs to the one he always danced to. I couldn’t believe somebody who looked like so much like an angel, could hurt someone like the devil.

_When I started to gain popularity and Cha Hakyeon asked me out, I apologized. I wasn’t interested._


	2. Chasing Ghosts

_This was the second guy I loved._

My best friend wanted to go to a new club, so she took me with her. It was the same as any other place: bad music, too loud to even try to enjoy it, alcohol everywhere and people making out. The only special thing was… him. He kept staring at me since we came into the club. It was starting to make me really uncomfortable, not because he was looking at me, but because he was just looking at me.

“Hey” Somebody said, loud enough for me to hear.

I raised my head, expecting some drunk guy who wanted to ask me to kiss. Yes, I even tried to punch him, but he stopped me. It was him. I wasn’t sure when he came next to me, but he was definitely there. From head to toe, he was dressed in black. I had him closer than before, his face just a few centimeters away from mine.

And god, was he handsome.

Big eyes, hair as black as the night sky, messy and sweaty for dancing. He was taller than me, more than I thought but not as much as my best friend said. And when he smiled, I just felt the need to smile back. I said sorry and lowed my hand. That was the beginning of the longest night of my entire life.

After meeting at the club a couple of times, he finally asked me out.

* * *

“Where are you going?” My voice was broken, as broken as my heart. I couldn’t do anything but stare at him, looking at our pictures together, _burning_.

He loved photography. He loved to take pictures. He loved it as much as he loved going out. He loved it as much as he loved drinking and gaming.

“I need fresh air” He answered, taking is jacket and shutting the door when he left.

I fell. The cold floor wanting to make me feel better, only awakening me. Reality was consuming me, laughing at me for falling for an artist. And I understood, I knew what it felt like. I saw it in the photos he showed me: the pain behind the smile, the low self-esteem behind his looks. I saw the need of being more than the art of his body. I saw his lost self, the endless forests he kept wondering.

I saw his broken soul.

_Lee Hongbin loved photography. He loved it even more than himself. He loved it even more than me._


	3. Wasteland

_This was the third guy I loved._

I won’t ever forget people telling me how lucky I was to have him. And I knew I was.

He was the kindest, cutest, most lovely boyfriend I had. Sometimes, it seemed we were soulmates who just found each other. We were in the right place at the right time. He would hug me when I was cold and kiss my forehead after a date. He would whisper the sweetest things and promise me the sky and all the stars.

Maybe I should’ve known it was too good to last.

“I’m in. They've accepted me” He said one day, while we were watching the sunset.

He smiled at me and I managed to smile back. I was happy for him, I knew had been chasing his dream as a singer since we were just kids playing around. But my heart wasn’t feeling the same way. He tried to cheer me up, adding he would still be able to see me, that it would be the same.

It was a lie.

Recordings, concerts, meetings – that’s what the first thing. Rumors about us which his agency denied, stating he was single and not interested in a relationship of any kind… that was the end of it all.

When he came home, crying with me, apologizing for everything. When I told him that I understood what was happening and told him to break up. When I closed the door, doing my best to ignore him yelling my name, asking me to open the door, to talk about it… that was the end of it all.

_I decided to let Lee Jaehwan go, to move on and pick up the pieces of what was left of my heart._


	4. Blood Like Gasoline

_This was the fourth guy I loved._

Nobody was supposed to know about us. It was our precious secret, the way our lips met and our souls connected. The looks we gave each other in the morning during breakfast, the touches under the table and the little laughs. For the rest of the world, he was dating another star, some actress whose name nobody knew. At least, not until she started dating him, a well-known actor, even though they weren’t a real couple.

The deal? She had the cameras and the fame she wanted, as long as she kept our secret.

He trusted her and I trusted him. And that was the way things worked, until it got complicated. Day by day she wanted more, even more than what we could give her. She threatened us, demanding things she knew weren’t in our hands. I was scared, completely scared. What would everybody say when they found out he was having an affair with his assistant?

Sadly, I fell into the flames of betrayal, when I discovered the both of them planned everything. She wanted the fame, he wanted me. And suddenly, all those nights together, all those little chats, meant nothing.

_I ran away from Han Sanghyuk as fast as I could._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter wasn't that good but i wanted to post it anyway soz


	5. Roses

_This was the fifth guy I loved._

I see him everywhere, everyday. I see him on the tv, his face on the street’s walls, his memory in my mind. It makes it impossible to forget about what happened. Us, our smiles, our laughs, our nights without sleep.

I still feel the warmth of his arms around me, the sound of his voice promising me something he never did. I will never forget anything about him: the way his eyes smiled along with his lips, how good he was in front of the camera, the love that consumed me when I was with him.

When it ended, I missed being blind like that.

“I saw him with someone else” The voice of my best friend telling me that, that’s another thing I will remember for the rest of my life.

Models attract you and then kill your soul. They are too good for anyone, they are too bad for everyone. And I screamed like never before, screamed at him, asked him why he did that. And I’m sure he wanted to explain it. And I’m sure I hurt him.

_But I couldn’t hear Jung Taekwoon when I closed the door and went back home._


	6. Demons

_This was the sixth guy I loved._

From the start we knew this wasn’t going to be easy. When you date a writer, you don’t know what will happen. When you are the only one who can maintain a relationship, you don’t know how long will it last. And I loved him. And he loved me. And we had it all.

We moved in together a year after we started dating. Everything was great, both of us worked and we lived well. But then a younger teacher took his place and I had to work even more to keep money on our bank account. He promised to find a job, but he didn’t.

He couldn’t. And I couldn’t either. We were just too broken, outside and inside.

“We can’t stay like this” I said. I was expecting him to fight even more, a little more, like he did until that moment. But he didn’t. And I understood it when he nodded and said he agreed.

Right place, wrong time.

_In the silence of my last night with Kim Wonshik, I heard our hearts break at the same time._


	7. In Our Bones

_This is the person I’m today._

I do what I love. I’ve made my way through life and the bruises of my fight finally disappeared.

I never thought I would see him again in front of me.

“Somebody is looking for you” My best friend said after opening the door. I was laughing at a joke somebody in the radio told, when our eyes met.

He smiled, a smile that still made my heart weak. And I couldn’t help but smile back, my best friend waving before leaving, not even letting me say goodbye.

“Hi” I started.

“Hey” He replied.

It was a long night. He apologized and so did I. We caught up with our lives. We gave ourselves another chance.

_This was the guy I once loved. This was the guy I left myself love again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it 'til the end of this, thank you! And just in case, yes, this is kind of an open ending ?? You are the protagonist of the story, so you can choose who knocked on your door!  
> But now, for real, there's probably going to be something else after this, so... be sure to check my profile in the future for new works ;)


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